🥋 Passive-Aggression Isn’t Strength — It’s Fear

Being passive-aggressive isn’t cute.

It makes people hate you — like, really hate you.

You’re not being clever.

You’re being transparent.

People see right through that act.

They might not call you out,

but they feel it — that fake smile,

that sugar-coated jab, that “I’m fine”

that means anything but.

Passive aggression isn’t strength.

It’s cowardice dressed in politeness.

It’s conflict avoidance with a smug grin.

If something bothers you, say it.

Direct doesn’t mean rude — it means honest.

And honesty, even when it stings, earns respect.

Because no one ever said,

“Wow, I really admire how she manipulated me politely.”

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When you live in passive aggression,

you start seeing passive aggression everywhere.

Suddenly, a genuine compliment feels like mockery.

You start thinking everyone’s got an angle.

When the world is shitting on you,

you start seeing shit everywhere.

That’s the poison of it —

it doesn’t just make you unpleasant,

it warps your lens.

You stop trusting sincerity,

and that’s when you lose your grip on reality.

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But here’s the thing — we all do it.

Why? Because it’s easier than saying what we actually feel.

It’s how we avoid confrontation.

We can’t find the words — because words are hard.

We get lost in hierarchy and authority,

and forget that everyone deserves respect —

even those we disagree with.

Especially the people most important to us.

Isn’t it strange?

We save the best of ourselves for strangers,

while the people we love

get what’s left — the worst of us.

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But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Words are hard, yes —

but they just take practice.

The more you listen, speak, and rephrase yourself,

the better you become at expressing your thoughts and feelings.

When you approach people with the benefit of the doubt,

you open the door to understanding

what they’re actually trying to tell you.

You might even find

the people around you aren’t against you —

they’re trying to help you.

Humans are more cooperative

than North American culture likes to admit.

Nearly every other society teaches

that people should put others ahead of themselves —

but here, we glorify competition.

As if for me to win, you have to lose.

But why?

Why can’t we work together so everyone wins?

Doesn’t a rising tide lift all boats?

Can’t we just help each other patch our boats?

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The Dojo Connection

This is what the dojo teaches every single day.

We face conflict directly — not to win, but to understand.

We practice honesty, not hostility.

Karate teaches you to speak with your body,

to communicate through clarity, not games.

You can’t hide behind sarcasm or tone — your movement either means something or it doesn’t.

We bow, we clash, we connect — and we walk away better.

That’s what real strength looks like.

Because at Northern Karate Markham,

we don’t avoid conflict.

We refine it — until it becomes understanding.

Kyoshi Eric Vinagreiro, BA BEd

Northern Karate Markham