✍️I Hate Obedience!

I hate obedience.

There, I said it.

Not because I don’t believe in respect or structure — I do. Deeply.

But because obedience, as most people understand it, does more harm than good.

Obedience teaches people to stop thinking.

It tells them that authority is always right and questioning is wrong.

It rewards silence and punishes curiosity.

Worse, obedience retards action.

It stops people from speaking up or stepping forward when they should.

It doesn’t build confidence or courage — it suppresses them.

It doesn’t allow for growth — it creates subservience.

That’s not what we want for our students.

We don’t want quiet followers — we want curious minds, independent thinkers, disciplined human beings.

I get asked sometimes, “Are you really going to let that kid talk to you that way?”

My answer is always, yes.

Anyone can talk to me however they wish — I’ll choose how to respond.

If a child’s words cut you so deep that it hurts your core, I have to ask: who’s really the child in that moment?

When a student pushes back, we have two choices:

We can put them in their place, or we can help them understand their words and actions — and the effect they have on others.

Only one of those choices teaches.

When a student bows in the dojo, it should never be out of fear or habit — it should be out of choice.

Out of understanding. Out of respect freely given.

That’s what real teaching is — not silencing, but shaping.

Not demanding obedience, but developing awareness.

Discipline and obedience are not the same thing.

Obedience is external — control from the outside.

Discipline is internal — control from within.

Obedience fades when no one is watching.

Discipline stays when the world isn’t looking.

Obedience doesn’t just stifle curiosity — it can erase conscience.

How can an obedient person maintain a moral compass if they’re trained never to question the hand that steers it?

Faiths, schools, and communities that encourage questioning always produce people who are healthier, kinder, and more resilient. The ones that demand silent obedience often create guilt, fear, and division.

The dojo is no different.

In our dojo, a student should never fear a teacher.

A teacher is merely a guide — not a god, not a guru — just a person with some knowledge and a willingness to share it.

A teacher who demands obedience is a teacher you should run from.

We don’t want obedience.

We want awareness, understanding, and integrity.

So yes — I hate obedience.

Because obedience prevents growth, retards action, and dulls the moral compass.

But discipline — true, conscious discipline — creates leaders, thinkers, and good human beings.

Kyoshi Eric Vinagreiro, BA BEd

Northern Karate Markham